"3 Things I've Learned Being Married 6 Weeks"

As I celebrated the wedding of my dear friends last Friday, I found myself reminiscing on my own wedding that took place 6 weeks ago. It certainly doesn’t feel like I’ve been married for 6 weeks (not like that’s a long time), time has definitely flown! The perspective I had about marriage when I was single has changed since I’ve been married and I wanted to share the 3 things I’ve learned being married 6 weeks.

1. LIFE IS NOT ONLY ABOUT ME
   You’re probably thinking “duh Lisa, of course life isn’t only about me anymore,” but I don’t think many people truly understand what that means. I know I didn’t understand it until right after the wedding was over and there were decisions to be made. When I was single, I made decisions based on my own preferences without thinking twice. When I got married I realized every decision I make effects my husband. Having to always consider another person has helped me to grow in my unselfishness and consideration of others beyond just my husband. This also comes into play when it comes to disagreements. By nature we are selfish people and we always want our perspective to be elevated above all others. That doesn’t work well in marriage lol During times of disagreements my flesh feels pleased when I don’t listen to my husband or I downplay his feelings and emotions and elevate mine. This often gets us nowhere and leaves him feeling unheard and unseen. All throughout counseling and on our wedding day, we vowed to have a Christian marriage. Meaning we vowed to love each other as Christ loves us, we vowed to honor one another and we vowed to display 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. When I consider myself above others, I am not honoring my husband nor other people in the Christ-like manner that I vowed to do on my wedding day.
   
   I’m going to be blunt here. My sex life is not all about me! Movies and tv shows have us thinking that our sex lives revolve around our individual needs and our partner is supposed to fulfill them all the time. While this has some truth to it, my sex life life is not all about me. The thing about marriage is that as both spouses work to serve one another, both needs get met. If I make serving my husband my focus and he makes serving me his focus, we don’t have to worry if our needs are being met. So, once I take the focus off making sure my needs are met and focus on my husband, he then can do the same. But, if we both are only focusing on our needs and what we want in the bedroom neither of us are actually getting what we want.
   

2. MY PRIDE, IF LEFT UNCHECKED WILL ULTIMATELY DESTROY MY MARRIAGE
   I was listening to a “Java with Juli” podcast and one quote that stood out to me went like this “approaching conflict with a win or lose attitude will not work.” That stood out to me because I’ve been conditioned to view every conversation or conflict as a win or lose debate. Either my opinion is right and you’re wrong or even vise versa. There’s rarely any room for understanding. That viewpoint is also fueled by my own struggle with pride. My pride tells me I’m right 95% of the time or that I have “the right” to argue my viewpoint. Thinking that way will only alienate me from my husband and when left unchecked will wreak havoc in my marriage. Many marriages end because of pride and I refuse to let mine be one of them.

3. MARRIAGE IS BEAUTIFUL
   I know this sounds super cliche lol but although it’s hard work, marriage is beautiful. To look at my husband and know I’m spending the rest of my life with him is an amazing feeling. To come home to him everyday, cook dinner for us and just talk is beautiful!

   As I grow and mature as a wife, I’m excited to see the many things I will learn along the way.