Christian Single.com
Singleness...I know just the mention of the word has a lot of people cringing lol and honestly that was me and still is me from time to time. Growing up, I stayed with a boo! I always had to be in some guys face, I always needed to be seen. That need stemmed from my own insecurities, abandonment issues and lack of an intimate relationship with God. I went from guy to guy during my teenage and early young adult years trying to fill holes in my heart that could only be filled by the Lord and all I had to show in the end was a bunch of sinful, empty nights. I had a hard time being single and couldn't fathom being alone. Once I got saved, I believe God placed me on a "dating fast". For those who have never heard of a "dating fast" it's when you commit yourself to being completely single for a certain period of time. This could be 3 months or 3 years, it doesn't really matter as long as it's practical. Now when I say single, I mean COMPLETELY SINGLE! Our generation gets it twisted a bit and thinks single means not being in a relationship. No single in a dating fast means no relationships, no flirting, NO TEXTING, no soul ties, no heart ties. This is a time where your heart and mind is completely free from ties with the opposite sex. This allows you to focus on other areas of your life and figuring out your next steps. I believe the Lord placed me on this fast
1. Because I had just gotten saved and had no business thinking of a relationship because I had to get my relationship with Christ in order
2. I still had a soul tie with my ex
3. I had too high of a focus on relationships which is not healthy. I idolized relationships and marriage and placed high expectations on guys making them my idols and God has to stop that.
4. I had no idea how to walk in sexual purity for a substantial amount of time. I saw the fruits of this fast after about 3 months. When I began to talk to a guy I began to look for godly characteristics and not just worldly ones. I began to try and see the Christ in that person and the Holy Spirit moved in me and eventually told me that person was not the one I was supposed to be with. That had never happened before. It was not like this person was bad at all in fact had I not been saved, I could possibly be with this person right now. But because I was able to take a "time-out" from dating so to speak, I was able to learn the type of man the Lord wants for me and be patient and have enough faith to know He's' going to deliver that man if that's what He's promised.
SO, fast forward to the present. I am currently single and many people my age question "How do I become content/ok with being a single person in 2016?" Well, with all the relationship goals and "power couples" floating around, that could be a hard question to answer. First I'll say, it is ok to have a desire to want to be in a relationship and want to be married because God created us that way but if your preoccupation with a relationship is distracting you from fulfilling your God-given purpose on Earth, it's time to check yourself and your desires. Second, you have to realize that you are single for a reason. Like literally, God wants you single at this moment for a specific reason. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:32-"I want you to be free from the concern of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please Him. 33. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities ad how to please his wife. 34. His desires are divided." And this is the same for women. Think about that for a second, God has you single at this moment because He wants you to do HIS WORK! He wants you busy for the kingdom. Isn't that exciting? God wants you alone because He wants to use you. I'm glad He wants me alone right now with no distractions so He can give me whatever assignment He wants! Don't be mistaken, the Lord can also use you during courting and marriage but during the time you are free you are not inhibited by children or a spouse and God can also have you single because He wants to repair your heart and prepare it for when He brings someone along. Marriage is work and many people (including myself in the past) fantasize and idolize it. We think we can play house, have kids and live stress free when in reality, if you talk to the married people at your church and in your life they will tell you a completely different story. God could be using this time to mature you to be ready to correctly serve another person and a family.
So to sum it up, to be content ok, happy, whatever term you want to use, in your singleness analyze why you have a problem being single first. Second, analyze why God has you single and rejoice and be excited for what He is preparing you for. Third, GET OUT AND GET INVOLVED!!! Nurture and flourish all of the relationships you have in your life right now. Your sisters and brothers, church fam, mom, dad, friends, cousins, EVERYONE. Be the best friend/family member you can be right now and you'll see that in itself is a lot of work! That's my goal right now. I'm working on learning new skills, being a good daughter, friend, mentor, sister, etc to people in my life and improving my relationship with God. I'm realizing that God has His hand on my life and His timing is always best! I'm also realizing that it may not be in God's plan for me to get married and it may not be in His plan for you either. Will you stop being committed to God if He doesn't bring you a spouse? Think about that as well and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY to the Lord for your worries about being single and He will answer you but you have to be ready to keep it moving with your life while you are single. And don't listen to the devil when he tries to tempt you with impatience. There will be lonely times but remember the Lord is ALWAYS there.
I really hope this helps and if you have any questions feel free to reach out. Also, check out the poem I have put in the Recommended Resources tab if you want more help with being single. See ya later!