Save Your Dollars! Why You Shouldn't Pay Someone to Be Your Mentor
Last week I posted on my Instagram about a topic I’ve seen and wanted to address. I talked about Biblical mentorship and how I’ve seen so many Christian social media influencers charge hundreds and even thousands of dollars for people to join their “mentorship” program. Some of these programs include weekly teachings, a Facebook group or GroupMe chat where all members of the program come to talk with one another and form accountability partners and some, not all offer one-on-one sessions. This is not an adequate form of mentorship and I’m going to explain why on the blog today!
Biblical mentorship is free
Let me give you the definition of mentorship before we continue. The word “mentor” is defined as “a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.” A spiritual mentor is someone who cares about you and wants the best for you. They know that the most important thing in life is to have a personal relationship with Christ, so they encourage you to invest in this relationship. As a result, you can grow spiritually and become mature in your faith.There are many examples of mentorship in the Bible such as Naomi and Ruth, Barnabus and Paul, Paul and Timothy, Jesus and the disciples and more. These relationships were so personal and intimate that putting a dollar amount on the interaction would be devaluing the experience. Nowhere in the Bible do you see mentors asking or receiving money for mentoring or discipling someone. God knows how important relationships are to our growth and development and that’s why He sends people into our lives to help us look more like Him. These relationships are typically not transactional meaning that the only benefit mentors receive from mentoring others is the joy in giving their time and resources to help someone grow into the person God calls them to be and God also calls us to disciple and mentor others to further The Great Commission.
You should not be mentored by someone you’ve never met in person
Above I mentioned the structure of a lot of the mentorship programs I’ve seen. Not only are you not able to see how your potential mentor truly lives, in some cases you don’t even get one-on-one personal time with them. This is inauthentic in many ways. When you are being mentored by someone who lives in your town, you can see their life from all angles. You can see how they manage their family, finances, struggles, sadness and everything in-between and they can see the same in your life. The most inspiring moments I’ve witnessed from my mentor is when I’ve gone over to her house and seen how she talks with her children when they’re running around the house, playing with each other and are in need of their mama. This is when you see how they allow the Lord to move in their life. It is very difficult to discern that through a computer or phone screen especially because many people pick and choose what they want you to see when you aren’t in close proximity to them and never have been. Now this does not apply to situations where you or your mentor moved to another city or state and are no longer in close proximity. You more than likely got to spend extended time with them and were able to see their lives as they were able to see yours.
In the Bible you see Jesus had His disciples travel with Him most places He went and they were able to see if He was actually living what He was teaching.
You also build trust and intimacy with your mentor to the point where you share things about yourself with them and they share things about themselves with you. You should be leery of sharing personal details about yourself with people online that you have not built a trusting relationship with over a period of time and they have not shared personal details about their life with you.
You should not have to pay someone to do something that God calls all His followers to do. Now, there is a difference between mentorship and coaching. Life coaches do charge money but those relationships typically are not as personal and they are just there to guide you in a specific area.
I want to help people save their hard earned money and instead, pray that God will send someone your way to help grow you into the person that He wants you to be. Trust me, He always sends someone your way that will impact your life more than you could ever imagine.
As always, if you have comments please leave them below and we can talk further!