My Adoption Story

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. During the month of November, national, state and local foster agencies as well as communities and support groups across the country seek to increase awareness about the need for thousands of children currently in the foster care system to be placed in permanent homes.

Many of you may not know that I was adopted at the age of 10 months and have been with my adopted family for the last 24 years. My adoption story is very important to me because it has shaped my life in more ways than one and has been a major part of my testimony. As I said before, I was adopted at 10 months old along with my younger sister who was a newborn at the time. My biological mother was unable to take care of my sister and I so my mother stepped in and adopted 2 baby girls into her family of 3. I grew up knowing I was adopted as my family never kept it a secret from me or other members of my family. I never felt out of place in my family because of my adoption and I grew up like a normal member of the family. My mother told me when I was younger my sister and I had visits with my biological mother but I was so young that I do not remember them. The only time I remember seeing my biological mother was when I was 13 years old. Other than that, I have not had contact with my biological mother or family.

I dealt with many internal struggles as a result of my adoption. As I got older, I began to question my adoption. Even though I always knew my biological mother was not able to keep me due to her own struggles, that answer never was good enough for me. No answer I received was good enough to fill the void I felt. A part of my identity was missing and because I did not know God personally, I had no idea how to fill that void. This caused me to have abandonment issues and insecurities.

It wasn’t until after I was saved that I began to understand why my life turned out the way it did. I learned that God had a plan for my life and in order for that plan to come to fruition, I had to be placed for adoption. What I looked at as a loss, God showed me was His love and grace. I had to realize that even though I did not have my biological family in my life, I still had a family and a huge one at that! God replaced what I did not have with more than I ever would’ve had. I also began to understand why I suffered with depression and abandonment and even though I still struggle with it today, I am intentional about not letting it overcome me.  It wasn’t until I was saved that I began to become comfortable with being adopted and I forgave my mother for placing me up for adoption after being very angry with her for years. I forgave her because God had forgiven me for the sins that I done in my life so who would I be to not extend that same forgiveness to those who I believe sinned against me.

November is National Adoption Awareness Month and it also happens to be my birth month. So this month, I want to aid in spreading awareness about adoption by sharing my own story. I also want to encourage those who are adopted to know they aren’t alone, that I relate to every feeling you are feeling and that God made your story the way it is for a reason. You may feel that you were unwanted and abandoned but know that God wants you and loves you. He adopted you and brought you into His family. I also want to encourage those who are thinking about adopting or have adopted children. You are special and you are capable of loving a child that is not biologically yours. That child needs a loving, caring person like you and God will give you the strength you need to go through with the process.

Adoption does not have to be taboo, weird or unconventional. I pray that hearts begin to open to conversations like these and people begin to encourage and support friends and family members who want to adopt, those who have been adopted and those who are in the foster care system because our stories are just as important as anyone else’s.