Live Free: The Importance of Emotional Health

I lived majority of my life as an emotionally unhealthy person. I was adopted at 10 months old. As many adopted people may know, it doesn't matter at what age we're adopted, majority of us have experienced some form of hurt, anger, abandonment, resentment or a number of other painful emotions at some point in our lives.  I lived most of my life feeling some of those emotions but what's worse is when they go without being healed.

 Many people underestimate the importance of being emotionally healthy. I was one of those people until I found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship. It was my senior year of college and I met a guy. We quickly got into a relationship (which wasn't the wisest decision) and we were practically attached at the hip. In the beginning, we barely argued but when we began to argue it would be over small matters, which would blow up into bigger ones. Our arguments stemmed from his insecurities and his own battle with emotional health. Now, I was already an unhealthy person before I got into the relationship because I never healed from the pain I carried with me from my childhood. Because I was unhealthy I was not able to see the red flags that were present very early in that relationship. I remember visiting my older sister in Chicago with this guy and we got into an argument. My sister noticed the behavior that took place during the argument and saw that something was wrong beyond normal couple fighting.

Time went on and one of the lowest points in that relationship came one day we were arguing in his dorm room and he got very mad at me and pushed me into his desk.  I decided to leave and that's when he punched his hand through a glass window. It was the most traumatic experience of my life. But again, because I was unhealthy, I was unable to realize that the relationship was headed down a dark path. We remained together but our arguments got more and more emotionally abusive. He would say very demeaning things to me, call me out of my name and intentionally say things to hurt me.  Our arguments were so intense that they eventually turned into screaming matches.

The relationship came to an end in January 2015 after an extreme argument. At that time, I did not want the relationship to end. I was still unable to see how bad it was but over time, I began to heal my own hurt and learn that the relationship was very toxic. God began to come into my life at this time and eventually in June of that year I got saved! 

 Now that I am in a healthier place, I can see how easily I was able to get into an emotionally unhealthy and abusive relationship and had I continued in the relationship it could have become physical very quickly. Many people have dealt with some sort of trauma from their childhood and many carry it into their adult lives without even knowing. IT IS OK IF YOU HAVE HAD TRAUMA! Today's society often pushes the notion that if you have an issue of any sort then you are not ok. I believe that it is ok if people have issues and in fact it's quite normal. It's how you heal from your issues or work to heal your issues that's most important.  I reflected on all of my past relationships involving men and I saw a pattern. I saw a pattern of unhealthiness, a pattern of trying to fill empty voids and not recognizing that I was truly hurting so I was unable to accept help, which led me into relationships with people who were equally unhealthy or worse.

Emotional health is extremely important. It affects every area of a person’s life. If a person is not emotionally healthy and unable to process their emotions, it’s very hard for them to process many other areas of their life. I've noticed more and more than many people are emotionally unhealthy and don't even know it especially my peers.

I want people to know that if they believe in any way that they are emotionally unhealthy that it is ok to get help. It is ok to seek therapy and it is ok to heal. Once you do so, you will feel free and be able to live life in a whole new way and that's from my personal testimony